Small and Simple

Ten Years ago this week I was called to go on a mission. It was the hardest, most challenging, most rewarding experience of my life.

As explained earlier this year in this blog, I had made the decision to serve January 2006. (click here for that post.)  

I remember I was in Deseret Book store. I had recently lost my job and didn’t know what my next step in life should be. When I was in Deseret Book I felt so peaceful and happy. I knew that the peaceful feeling was something I wanted in my life all the time, and I realized I could obtain this by serving a full time mission. In November I was finally able to submit my papers. December 20, 2006 the big white envelope of my mission call arrived.

“Dear Sister Sarah Hurst, You have herby been call to serve in the Spain Malaga Mission. You will report to the Provo Mission Training Center to begin your missionary training in the Spanish language on Wednesday May 9, 2007.”

I was shocked! I had multiple thoughts going through my head in those first few seconds after reading my call. The first being: “Recall!” No way was I supposed to go to Spain! I couldn’t learn Spanish, and what was with waiting until May? This was insane! It was obviously a mistake. To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement.

Once I had time to myself, after my family and friends that had come to watch left, I prayed. I felt guilty for questioning my call. I had promised my Heavenly Father that I would go wherever He wanted me to go, say what He wanted me to say, and to be what He wanted me to be. Even though I felt inadequate for such a big call, I knew Heavenly Father knew what He was doing and had big things in store for me.

In High School I had taken a few Spanish courses. So I knew a little bit before arriving at the Provo MTC. I quickly learned, however, that those classes did me no good. I again felt myself overwhelmed and inadequate for such a major task. I felt discourage and thought to myself that I was never going to get this language.

My teacher, Brother Bennett, was aware of my struggle and pulled me aside. As we started to talk about it, I began to cry.

“What you are feeling is fear.” He explained to me. “Fear is like the dark. Do you know what the opposite of dark is?”

“Light.” I replied.

“Correct. Imagine this room was pitch black. But then someone open the door and the light from the hall came in. Would the room be dark anymore?”

I shook my head no.

“That’s because darkness and light cannot co-exist. They can’t be in the same room at the same time. The light will always win over the dark.” He paused, allowing me soak his words, and then asked, “Do you know what the light represents in this analogy?” I shook my head no again, not sure where he was going with all of this.

“Light represents Faith.” He explained, “Fear and Faith, like darkness and light, cannot co-exist. Just like the light will triumph over the darkness, faith will always win over fear. Remember that.” And I always have.  

My first transfer in the mission field was a hard one. My trainer was by far my hardest companion. She meant well, I suppose. I guess you could say she demonstrated “tough love”. She was on me about everything! She was training me not just for a mission, but for life. She criticized everything little thing I did, from the way I walked, talked, and even how I flushed the toilet! It was hard enough that I was finding fault with myself in my mind, and then to have a second person confirming them to me was just too much.

One Sunday morning, after a really challenging companionship study in which I was drilled reading Spanish and corrected on every word pronunciation, I felt like the tiniest, most worthless thing on the planet. I had reached the bottom. We went to church that day. I was lost in my own thoughts of despair and worthlessness. I didn’t know what anyone was saying nor did I care. I would never learn Spanish. I just wasn’t enough.

Then, at the end of our Sunday school class the teacher said something, he quoted a scripture, and it was the only thing I understood that day.

“By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.”   

(Alma 37:6)

I don’t believe it was by coincidence that this phrase of scripture was the only thing I understood that day. Heavenly Father knew of my struggle. He knew how small and insignificant I felt. It was His reminder to me that He had great things in store for me.  I was reminded to hold on to faith, and that by doing so I would make it out of the darkness I found myself in.

Heavenly Father works in mysterious ways. He trusts His imperfect children and will help them through difficult times. I eventually was able to communicate in Spanish, and was able to teach incredible people who have shaped me into the person I am today. I am forever grateful for my decision to serve a mission, and encourage those who are thinking to serve to do so. It will be hard, and challenging, however, I promise if you put your trust in the Lord it will be the most rewarding experience of your life.